From Correction to Connection: Flipping the Narrative on How We Treat Our Bodies
Estimated Read Time: 3-4 minutes
Word Count: 900
From a young age, many of us have been socialized to see our bodies as objects to manage, correct, or control.
Conditioned to focus on metrics—steps counted, calories burned, weight lost—we often unknowingly use these tools as instruments of self-criticism rather than self-care.
Metrics themselves aren’t inherently harmful. They can offer powerful and essential insights. But when rooted in what philosopher Martin Buber called an I-It way of relating,¹ they can become tools of disconnection.
What happens when we step back from this mindset and approach our bodies differently? When we shift from an I-It mindset to what Buber referred to as an I-Thou way of being with life?
What becomes possible when we partner with our bodies as co-creators in the journey of our lives?
This shift is more than a change in perspective. It’s a profound practice—one that fosters connection and healing. And its significance extends beyond personal health to our collective well-being.
Life as a Living, Breathing Process
The shift from I-It to I-Thou reflects broader patterns across disciplines.
Here are a handful of some 90+ frameworks I’ve gathered over the last decade, all emphasizing the transition from rigid, extractive systems to relational, adaptive approaches that align with how life actually works:
Emergent Strategies in contrast to ideological indoctrination (Adrienne Maree Brown): Letting go of fixed frameworks to embrace organic, responsive change.²
Indigenous Mind in contrast to colonized mind (Tyson Yunkaporta): Moving from extractive paradigms to relational, life-centered knowing.³
Growth Mindset vs. Fixed Mindset (Carol Dweck): Seeing challenges as opportunities rather than failures.⁴
Sense & Respond vs. Command & Control (Stephen Bungay):Replacing rigid self-discipline with adaptive, responsive care.⁵
Eco Awareness vs. Ego Awareness (Bill Plotkin): Shifting from individualistic goals to interconnected consciousness.⁶
The Gain vs. The Gap (Dan Sullivan): Focusing on progress, fostering gratitude and momentum.⁷
Embracing Discomfort vs. The Comfort Crisis (Steve Magnus):Recognizing that growth arises from stepping into discomfort intentionally.⁸
Communion of Subjects in contrast to Collection of Objects (Thomas Berry): Moving beyond fragmentation to sacred interconnectedness.⁹
The unifying insight is this: life is not a collection of objects to command and control, but a dynamic, sentient, and interconnected process.
Applying this to you: your body is a living process, not a thing. And how you relate to this process changes everything.
From Punishment to Partnership
Take something as seemingly straightforward as going outside for a walk.
An I-It mindset says: “I have to get my steps in. If I don’t, I’ve failed for the day.” This approach is punitive, focused on inadequacy.
An I-Thou mindset reframes the same action: “I enjoy how a walk gets me outside, and appreciate the change in perspective I experience.”
The behavior of ‘going for a walk’ may look the same, but the internal narrative is profoundly different. Walking becomes an act of connection, not correction.
And here’s the critical takeaway: in such partnership and care, we can do hard things. Epically hard.
We can challenge our limits, and strive for real growth, starting from wherever we’re at.
The question is: Are we doing this through force, manipulation, punishment, critique? Or in attunement with our body’s needs, limits, and potential—guided by curiosity, compassion, connection, commitment?
Listening for Feedback
Our bodies aren’t judging or punishing us. As much as it can feel that way. They’re responding the very best they can to the conditions they’re immersed in.
They are truly doing their best, but our conditions present a lot of challenges that are often incompatible with our bodies’ needs. Chronic stress, environmental toxins, industrialized food systems, endless marketing, conflicting science… we could make a long list.
Social conditioning frequently leads us to override our bodies’ signals. Fatigue? Caffeinate. Pain? Push through or medicate. This I-It mindset locks us in cycles of disconnection, shame, and blame.
But what happens when we approach such signals with curiosity?
What if pain, fatigue, or discomfort are invitations to listen for opportunities to potentially change our conditions and, in turn, our outcomes?
The next time you feel tension, fatigue, or discomfort, pause. Ask your body: “What are you trying to communicate?”
Listen with curiosity. You might be surprised by what you hear. You are on the same team, your body and you. I promise.
This Is Personal
For much of my life, I operated with an I-It mindset—pushing myself to deliver, perform, and serve, overriding symptoms with a “mind over matter” approach.
In 2018, I learned I carry one APOE4 gene, often referred to as “the Alzheimer’s gene,” which increases one’s risk for Alzheimer’s 3 to 5 times. With dementia present on both sides of my family, it was important to confront the future I saw myself heading toward.
Over the past six years, both personal and collective narratives have evolved. We now understand general health outcomes are about 70% epigenetic—shaped by the conditions influencing our genes—and about 30% genetic.
Supported by this evolving understanding, I have made significant changes to my life’s conditions, dramatically reducing stress. I began genuinely valuing sleep, paying deep attention to my body’s nutritional needs over previous food ideologies, and have redefined my parameters for movement.
Through comprehensive testing, I gained insights into everything from heart health to metabolic function. Witnessing all 108 of my tested biomarkers shift into optimal ranges has been transformative.
This shift—from controlling my body to partnering with it—has transformed how I see the world, and how I feel every day.
Beyond Separation: Our Bodies Are Us
As we deepen this partnership, we realize something profound: we are not separate from our bodies. They’re not just vessels we inhabit or objects we manage—they are our embodiment. We are them and they are us.
What might it look like to honor your body as an integral facet of your being in this lifetime? How might such a shift change the way you listen, respond to, and care for yourself?
References
Martin Buber, I and Thou (1923).
Adrienne Maree Brown, Emergent Strategy: Shaping Change, Changing Worlds (2017).
Tyson Yunkaporta, Sand Talk: How Indigenous Thinking Can Save the World (2019).
Carol S. Dweck, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success (2006).
Stephen Bungay, The Art of Action: How Leaders Close the Gaps between Plans, Actions and Results (2011).
Bill Plotkin, Nature and the Human Soul: Cultivating Wholeness and Community in a Fragmented World (2008).
Dan Sullivan, The Gap and the Gain (2021).
Steve Magnus, Do Hard Things (2022)
Thomas Berry, The Great Work: Our Way into the Future (1999).
